Advent, the Season of Preparation

For many Christians, we are now in the thick of Advent, the four weeks before the season of Christmas, which officially begins on December 25th. The name of Advent derives from the Latin word, adventus, meaning arrival. Therefore, the entire season of Advent is dedicated to preparing for the arrival of this both gigantic and teeny tiny gift into our world, Jesus Christ.

In my many years of leading Advent and Christmas services as a pastor, never have I ever felt so connected with the character of Mary, Jesus’ mother. My final month of pregnancy corresponds with the four weeks of Advent and I have been in severe prep mode, getting ready for the birth of our baby, making space for her in our hearts, minds, souls, and of course, in our home.

But since it’s our third baby, and since she’s arriving during a time when James and my lives are so much fuller than when we had our firstborn, can I confess how difficult it has been to make space for her? When people ask how I’m doing, my usual response is, “I forget she exists!” When I was pregnant with our first one, I diligently clocked each week while learning how he was forming in utero, learning terms like vernix caseosa and lanugo.

I’m grateful for my routine OB appointments that force me to do nothing but sit in a hospital room and watch the ultrasound monitor show me the figure of a real baby forming inside me. At each of these appointments, tears inevitably stream down my face as my mind catches up with my body’s new development: there’s a baby inside me, she’s real, she’s growing, she’s a new member of our family, our lives are about to transform. In what way? I’m not so sure, but I’m receiving it as a gift.

Gift.

The holidays are a gift-giving season. Where does this tradition come from? Nobody knows for sure although there are many theories. The first theory goes back to St. Nicholas, the fourth century bishop of Myra in Asia minor known for his generosity, especially for poor families during the cold winter months. After he passed away, people commemorated his life by giving one another gifts. Another theory is that gift-giving before the New Year was a long-held tradition within the Roman Empire, even before the start of Christianity. Then, of course, there are theories based on Christian theology. The wisemen brought their gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh, so we are also inspired to carry on this tradition. Finally, a prevalent theory in the church is that God coming into our world so we could experience the infinite love of God in human form was the greatest gift. So, we express our gratitude to God by paying it forward, and magnifying this spirit of generosity by practicing it ourselves.

During these dark months as we approach the winter solstice, it does feel good to extend generosity towards others. And generosity is contagious. Remember that feel-good story from years ago when at a local Starbucks, a customer paid for the person behind them in line and that person then paid for the person behind them, so on and so forth for the entire day?

We dig deep into our pockets and hearts to think about our loved ones and what might give them joy and oh, to see them open up their gift, there’s nothing like it. I’ve also seen parents get really creative in cultivating this spirit of generosity within their kids during this time of year, like employing their kids’ help in cleaning out their toy collections to gather lightly used items to donate to other kids. Or getting their children excited to help elderly neighbors with their chores.

What is one small thing you can do to create more space for wonder, love, generosity and the sacred in your daily life this holiday season? In the holiday guidebook I created for you, I recommended looking into the needs of your local community or incorporating small practices like afternoon winter walks. Or waking up just 30 minutes before your kids get up to take deep breaths and repeat the simple words of Mary, “God, here I am. Ready for you to work your miracles today, ready to be a willing participant in your divine unfolding.”

The pressures of the holidays can quickly absorb the original spirit of this season: to prepare and make space for God to break through into our daily lives and for us to magnify the spirit of generosity by extending it to others.

We prepare, yes, but we prepare in ways that absorb space intended for the sacred: shopping anxiously, hosting holiday parties at the cost of quality time with our loved ones, stressing about decorations—all of this for…why? Why are we doing all of this in the first place?

We’re doing all of this to create space for more love and the sacred to enter our lives, not to suck all of it out.

Let this reminder bring us deep comfort instead of more anxiety about how we’re failing ourselves and others. You’re not failing. You’re doing the holidays just right. In fact, you can even slow down a bit and cross off the unnecessary items on your long to-do list to focus on that which really matters to you: your joy and instilling joy in others.

Like my husband said as I spatted off all the ways I was falling behind getting ready for this baby and getting all the ducks in a row at church before my maternity leave, “even if the baby room isn’t finished, and all we have are one pair of clean pajamas for her, she’s going to feel so loved.” And hey, at least she’s got a crib, definitely more comfortable than a manger.

I’m guessing giving birth in a barn amongst farm animals isn’t what Mary and Joseph planned for. And still, the baby came despite their shabby accommodations. They had, at the very least, made room in their hearts, which ended up being the only preparation that really mattered.